The Home of the Original Mocking Draft-

     The NFL spends million on player research – I spend spare time

      They can afford background checks – I read between the lines and behind the lines
       Speculation built on solid foundation of speculation,

1. Carolina (2-14) Patrick Peterson – takes away ½ the field – like arena league field-  your dt can and should weigh 500- your mlb can run 4.9 –your safety can have a peg leg,  a eye patch and parrot that can read the fakes -Gary Glick in 1956 was the last DB taken #1 .  10 on the Wonderlic- make it easier to forget being burnt?? –Kick Returner excellent


2. Denver (4-12)
Marcel Darues. – not the sexy pick- for the same reason  Bull Mouse Season Rutting isn’t held in any parks other then Yellowstone,   sounds like a contestant on American idol- protects LB- DJ Williams is getting attacked on 1-10,  Guys a winner, such a team dude he has played lame and been a force


3. Buffalo (4-12)
Von Miller –not he highest availed player according to Couch Scout Richter scale.   LT type passes rusher maybe- From the Texas Rivera to a Lake Erie.  The cold north –has an Artic effect – Kemp turns politician – and poor OJ becomes a …..(Hold it until proven before a jury of his peers- I believe in the American System) 


4. Cincinnati (4-12) My Bengals have Brother Marvin Lewis.  The Father Flanagan of  truly talented and troubled players.  With Carson Palmer 2x Last name man –staying put – then  Cam Jordan- low risk –high octane De Lineman brings more size and Speed to a Nasty fast and young Front  Seven --.They can roatate constant preassure on QB’s – Plus Jordan holds up well vs the Run.. Don’t  worry we will bring  the truly troubled and talented  in latter rounds.- and  is Jorrdan is very signable -


5. Arizona (5-11)Blaine
Gabbert –Minus Kurt Warner- the offense slumped- the defense got overwhelmed –a lotto pick season - they need a QB. Blake throws strikes- has size and speed and work outs are awesome- 


6. Cleveland (5-11) –So  Cleveland needs a luminary scince LeBranon left town –Cam Newton is perfect – but Mike Holmgren  isn’t the lumanary type- Ryan Kerrigan- adds great fire to Brown’s Dee- Genetic lotto winner- who works hard-  Great effort and production – low risk –high

 

7. San Francisco (6-10) The 49ers will gamble on talent –Alex Smith –average at best –Crabtree-(moments of greatness) -Cam  Newton – Suspect behavior – the Offensive  Coordinators dream  the true rushing threat who can potentially pass like Manning—Former Niners Steve Young is one of the classic example of the modern successful (healthy long term) and productive.  Cam is bigger, faster and has the stronger arm then Hall of famers???   A winner, who should sell tickets. - and may if things don’t work out – So will his Dad his Agent??


8. Tennessee (6-10)- Nick
Fairley –the Edison Lighthouse of the draft after kicking rear for one season–one hit wonder –Just got a wake up call and dominate inside with Tony Brown- flat footed QB’s  will be splattered like paint at  inflatable guy paint party. Yep he brings an inter pass rusher.

 


9. Dallas (6-10)  Stephen Paea- Nose - Oregon St-  Way out on a limb here- but this guy is special- compares with tackles taken last Year –high- Record Bench press at combine- but he is not T-REX – 32.7” –not a extra long slleeve either –Ratlifff can bump outside – 3  years of football prior to Oregon St-  knee injury  - Can dominate and pursue on the sweep .- Probably a 2nd rounder –after the knee trouble,. But in Couch Scout  land

 

 10. Washington (6-10) Da Quan Bowers- LB – 3-4 DE- Was considered a potentisl number one- Knee tune-up then- pass rusher oposite Brian O-

11. Houston (6-10) AJ  Green –WR + Young Stud compliments –Andre Johnson  enough to get the franchise out their medicore run.- WR in the 1st round can be a risk- not a problem the Texan have experienced failure..

 

12. Minnesota (6-10) Ryan Mallet QB – is most interesting – he can chuck it all over the park –mobile as much as he needs to be—The Viks newest Slave--

 

13. Detroit (6-10) J.J. Watts-DL so Suh me- ouch- He work inside or out –and detour the run.

 

14. St. Louis (7-9) –Julio Jones-WR –an awesome WR for Bradford- again in Couch Scout Land –screws in feet heal well- WR never fail..

 

15. Miami (7-9)  Robert Quinn LB-  Could be #1 guy taken,  but – his outside rush looks like he was shot out of a gun, Signabliity – well the guy had agent one year before he should have..

 

16. Jacksonville (8-8) –Prince Amukamara CB- Royalty- Jags love their big CB’s -

17. New England (14-2) -- from Oakland – Justin Houston LB- World class talent- Pats will develop- ideal numbers

 

18. San Diego (9-7)  Aldon Smith –LB –Mizzu- The Chargers had to have looked at this litter of DE/LB when they sent Merriman packing – Aldon is just as good as the rest of his peers- great kid.


19. New York Giants (10-6) Jimmy Smith –CB -  how many picks have the Giants spent on a bigger quality corner –so far they’ve had few picks from those picks ..

 

20. Tampa Bay (10-6) Adrian Clayton –Iowa –DE liked his effort if not his production in 2010 –Double teamed a bunch- 9.5 sacks from the Bucs DE in 2010


21. Kansas City (10-6)- Nate Solder- Col Tackle-  not too many  better athletes ever to play Tackle in NFL- Winner of the Genitic Lotery- needs to bend knees a little more- Great upside –

The man has 8% body weight – Blocking TE- or could work inside for year or two..

 

22. Indianapolis (10-6) Jon Baldwin –WR – huge deep threat- The Colts had all kind of Injuries at WR in 2010,, so best case- the big kid fast kids works some at slot WR- and special play TE- and develops his game-  So when a doubt I draft talent late-


23. Philadelphia (10-6) Derrick Sherrod Tackle – not great numbers but –the man on  man  he is awesome- in the Jeff Otah way. The NFL is much more Sumo then track meet or body beautiful contest. This guy will start many years- compete and succeed-


24. New Orleans (11-5)- Muhammed Wilkerson DT- Rolling over DT’s ,Shaun Rogers- in Muhammed Wilkerson brings in effort and talent- 

 

25. Seattle (7-9) –Mike Pouncey Interior Line Guy- a revolving door inside for the Hawksi in 2010 – The other Pouncey twin should fill one of the inside jobs- with the quality of his bro –


26. Baltimore (12-4)  Martez Wilson –Kindle got hurt last season- maybe over for him- so you go out and get another Kindle like clone – may be Lewis heir apparent…


27. Atlanta (13-3)  Gabe Carimi Tackle – can play hard and Tough in NFL lineman traditon

 

28. New England (14-2) 2 #1 picks the Patriots 1st round – the Pats will never pay for 2 #1’s – but Tyron Smith USC Tackle  can work inside and learn the ropes

 

29. Chicago (11-5)  Anbthony Castonzo Tackle – Need for Quality line guys- Tony may be just that

 

30. New York Jets (11-5) Dontay Moch  LB –the critical need for a pass rush  may be answered – Golston,.Pace –Jason Taylor – Ryan can coach this super talent up – big reach but he maybe a steal

 

31. Pittsburgh (12-4)*  -Curtis Brown CB –Texas –solid 2nd rounder for most- has hips and closes well-fit the Steelers so well,.  Helps on special teams- good attitude for DB- competitive with a short memory- Can cover some-

 

32. Green Bay (10-6)* Ryan Williams –RB- you can wait for the free agent or RB or in a solid team  you can take the best back avaible, even though Stark looked great- Competition just produces better players -
 

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